Mach3Multisport.com

A couple of days ago, while attempting to twist a cap off an irrigation valve in the back yard, I experienced a little "pop" in the upper-middle of my back right next to my spine.  It was a minor irritant at the time and my only thought was that I might have strained a muscle that would keep me from swimming for a couple of days.  Within an hour or two, I was in and out of excruciating pain when I performed such acrobatic acts as raising my arm or breathing.  It wasn't a sharp pain like falling off a mountain bike into a cactus patch (trust me on this one).  It was more like the pain you get when you smack your funny bone on something: it hurts like crazy but it causes you to laugh at the same time. 

After half a morning of listening to me moan and wail, Mel at work suggested I seek some type of medical attention.  I thought that she had a point, so I called my friend Jim Bub the chiropractor.  After describing my problem he told me that I probably had a rib subluxation and to come see him after work. 

I, like many people, am a student of the Google School of Medicine.  GSM consists of googling the key words of the affliction of interest, reading the front pages of several of the results and then convincing yourself that you are suffering advanced stages of that affliction.  After going to school on "rib subluxation" I decided that there was no doubt the correct diagnosis was at hand, and this time, unlike most other times, I was actually right.

I drove over to Jim's office, and it only took a few seconds before he proclaimed that, in medical terms, I was "jacked up."  He had me lie down on the treatment table and then proceeded to perform his chiropractic magic on me.  For a couple of hours afterward, I was still bordering on agony.  By the time I went to bed, I was feeling quite a bit better.  The next day, I was barely even sore.  How about that. 

There were several people at my house when I returned from Jim's office including a friend who, upon hearing about my visit to the office, told me that her 14-year-old son had at some point in the past also dislocated a rib.  I asked her how he had done it, and she replied that it had happened while he was participating in a motocross race--a slightly more manly event than twisting the cap off a sprinkler valve.  I made a mental note to come up with a story (covered by the 10% rule, of course) that included some type of large machine and/or wild animal(s). 

The bottom line to this story, of course, is that I'm getting older and that means dealing with a body that needs a little more TLC to stay in good working condition.  This is especially true when you have an MRI that shows your two bottom spinal discs squeezing out like jelly from a doughnut--but more on that later.  In the meantime, my advice to you is to let your kids twist off all your caps for you--jelly jar, sprinkler valve, etc. 

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

Name

Email

Website

Title

Comment

Write the displayed characters

Add Comment