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Dreams |
| Written by Holly | |
| Wednesday, 15 October 2008 | |
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The dreams are coming more frequently now, and they aren't getting any better. With the possible exception of Coach Jeff's Susan Lucci sighting, I am not getting a good vibe lately about Ironman. Sure, it is just nerves. But how many dreams can I have that leave me paniced upon waking? Usually they involve me forgetting about some part (like, I don't know, the 112 mile bike portion...) or doing the swim, bike, and run in the wrong order. I had one where I was running for 11 hours. In that one, I was fairly certain everyone else was off course... Where are these coming from? I do have some nagging concerns, but I have to remind myself, regular people do this all the time. There are people out there who have trained less than me and have not seen the course. I'm a Pro at this swim course (based on knowledge, not speed), and I know the bike course pretty well. I have been working hard, and I will have 2 Half Ironmans completed during training before race day - one on the same course. I'm going to be fine, says my conscious self ... you're gonna drown, says the subconscious... I did have someone ask why I was doing this - I didn't have some brilliant answer so I kind of mumbled something about long distance something-or-other and wandered off (you should see me when I'm talking to someone I don't like...). In reality, I'm doing it because I want to see if I can, simple as that. Not exactly what dreams are made of, huh?
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I wish you could see what I see...I see this strong, fast, motivated triathlete who in a few short months has trained herself to a point I probably will never reach. Dreams are not real...I still have dreams of Jon where he is healthy and we are living the life we should have had. Then I wake up. Your dreams are not real, but they should give you confidence...you will NEVER do the events out of order or forget to do the bike portion and I will speak for Danielle and go out on a limb to say that she will not try to kill you during the race. (She'll be too far ahead...hehe)
And not to throw Jon at you, but, he did this race w/ ALS...really think about that. You want to know his secret? Let me whisper it to you...he didn't stop. When his back was in total spasm on the bike, he didn't stop. When they told him at the bike turn around he wouldn't make the cut off, he threw his banana bread at them and didn't stop. When he was throwing up on the run, he didn't stop. When the twitching was so bad in his legs he didn't think he could continue, he didn't stop. When he was out on that dark highway crying and watching his life slip from him, he just didn't stop.
Just don't stop.
Because you can do this. I know you can.