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So much has happened in the last week that trying to arrange my thoughts in order to write this blog has proved a little difficult. First, let me say that my son is extraordinary. He has handled his close friend Aaron dying in a way that makes me just so proud of him. We spoke at Length about whether I should go to the race or not. He wanted me to go. He said he needed to be with his friends and he would need me this week the most, when everything had settled back down and he would no longer be with his friends 24/7. With his encouragement, I packed my bags and set my sights on the race.

I drove over with Jeff and Bizzy, Bizzy's Mom and Eric. They were great traveling companions and I was so happy to have Bizzy in my corner. She gives such great encouragement! We arrived in beautiful San Diego around 4pm and went straight to Camp Pendleton to check into our rooms. After that we headed to packet pick up and the excitement of the race started to build. Friday morning Jeff and I headed to the pier to check out the swim conditions. The harbor water was pancake flat and the distance looked very doable. My confidence for the swim was secured. We went back to the hotel for some bike maintenance and then Bizzy drove us out to the first of the two monster hills the course offered. Coach Jeff was behind me as we went up the first hill...he shouted out the grade of the hill as we went..."It's 4%...now 6%...keep going, you're doing great...we're at 10% grade!" After that hill we rode on to the next one, which was long and steep. Jeff flew past me but stopped ½ way up to offer encouragement. I made it up that hill and then we found a pull off and called Bizzy to come get us. I felt great...both hills were super tough, but very doable. I was so happy we took the time to actually ride them; now during the race, it was something I didn't have to think about anymore.

Later, we found our way to the expo and the beach, then had dinner at Chicks, a fabulous hole in the wall restaurant. Back at the hotel Jeff and I both packed out gear for the following morning. I made it into bed by 10 o'clock and woke promptly at 4:15. I listened to some worship music to calm my nerves, and then got up to start getting ready. The morning weather was absolutely perfect. It was clear and cool and I started to get more excited to just get to the race. We parked by the pier as instructed, then packed our bikes for the mile or so ride to the harbor. After hugs from Bizzy, Eric and her Mom, we were off into the morning.

Transition was teeming with excitement with athletes and bikes everywhere. I found my rack and then made my way to the long line for the bathroom. After what seemed like an eternity, it was finally my turn and soon I was back at transition to get into my wet suit. I saw Jeff once or twice, we high five'd, and then we both went to our swim wave station to start the race.

My wave started at 7:17 and as we entered the water, that familiar pang of panic set in. It passed quickly and I positioned myself so as not to get too banged into when the gun went off. My wave did a cheer as the count down came and then BAM! I was off! My stroke felt great and even though I suddenly needed to breathe at every stroke, instead of every three, I felt really good. I was annoyed that my goggles fogged up almost immediately because then I couldn't sight. I stopped just for a moment to wipe them clear, then just put my head down and swam. At the turn around, the waves got a little rough, and on the way back to the harbor I swam off by myself for a bit, but soon I was headed toward the exit and was being pulled out by the very helpful volunteers. I felt great! I ran all the way to transition and all the way to my rack. I quickly got out of my wetsuit and into my bike gear. I made the last minute decision to wear a bike jersey and as I headed out of transition I heard Bizzy and company cheering me on.

Okay, the bike course is brutal. But, oh so beautiful! The first 30 or so miles are just fantastic and I was making excellent time. For Me. Everyone else was passing me as if I was standing still. People older, people younger, walkers.  I was determined not to get discouraged. I think I was the only person out there not on a super performance type bike! At around mile 33 or so, I looked out into the distance and looming before me was the most outrageous hill I have ever seen. My mind flashed back to the previous day when Jeff said he thought the first hill was harder...mmm...we had not riden the right hill! I saw people like slow moving ants going up the hill and made the decision not to walk no matter what happened. So I didn't. But ohmygoodness. Many people were walking, the people who passed me gave me tremendous encouragement and what felt like an hour later I made it to the top and was greeted by some wind. great. The wind stayed and it was always a head wind. The two hills Jeff and I had riden the previous day were still waiting for me and I kept telling myself to look at the beautiful surroundings. The two big hills came and went and by this time I just wanted to be off the bike. The wind was blowing so hard that on the very steep decents I had to pedal pretty hard to keep going. Crazy! The aid stations were run by Marines and these guys were fantastic. They would run next to you to hand you water and they shouted a lot of encouragement. You could hear them from a 1/2 mile away!

The last six miles of the bike were cruel and never ending. I had to pee badly and just wanted to be done already. I actually passed some people on these last miles and that boosted me a little bit. Finally, finally I was heading back toward the transition area. As I rode down the final street, I saw Bizzy yelling for me and I gave her a big smile! I looked down at my watch...it read 4:45...my swim had been 44 mins so the bike had been 4 hours...which for me was great! I was so happy and was so ready to get on the run.

To get to the timing mat, they had us ride down along side the transition area. I was looking ahead of me and didn't realize I was starting to ride up a raise plank section. Before I knew what was happening, my front wheel was right at the edge of the plank...I knew I was going down and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I crashed, pushing my bike away from me (save the bike!) but landing on the edge of the raised plank w/ my back. I hit my head and lay crumpled up on the ground. People were suddenly around me and I just wanted them to help me up so I could keep going but they would not let me get up. Someone secured my head and only after the med tent docs got there did they straighten me out. I kept repeating that I wanted to get up and keep going but they would have none of that. As I lay there various parts of my body were hurting....my face, my teeth, my back. They checked my teeth...all still there! The sun was blaring down on me and someone moved their face to block it for me. I recognized the guy who did the athlete video we all had to watch. He asked where I was from...when I told him he answered, "Welcome to California!". I told him when they did the video next year to remind people to not be a dork like me and ride off the plank! It was much funnier then and everyone laughed and said at least I still had my mental facilities. As I continued to lay there, a weird by-stander started to take my picture. One of the Ironman reps asked if he was family and he said no. The rep told him to stop and told him it was a creepy thing to do. At this moment I realized what was happening...I tried to turn my head to look at the guy but they were still holding me in place. I instead started to yell at the guy and told him what he was doing was not okay and that he did not have my permission to be taking my photo and that he had better delete it. What a jerk!

After a few more minutes I realized I hadn't made it over the timing mat. I said so and asked them to let me up so I could go over the mat. Nothing doing. They said it would be taken care of and if I did do the run, it would register. They continued to ask me the same set of questions and then asked me more details..."Are you married?" "Widowed." They all got very quiet..."that's why I want to keep going," I said. "I'm doing this to honor my husband and I just want to get back out there." A few questions later the guy picked up my race number and looked at me. "Blazeman?" he asked. I nodded. "Ma'am, we're gonna get you back out there."

They finally got me strapped to a board, collared up and into the med tent. There, I quickly passed all the tests and they let me stand up. Once on my feet I was sore but wanted to go. They gave me some incredibly encouraging words and sent me on my way. This had all taken about an hour and a half! I made it to my transition area, got into my run gear, got some more encouraging words from the guys racked near me who were finished and off I went. At the first bathrooms I saw on the beach, I headed over and after finally being able to pee, I rubbed some Biofreeze on my very sore hip and back. This helped and I was able to run the next mile or so at a 9:44 pace. I was stoked! I heard some one yell my name and saw Jeff going the other way...we high five'd and I yelled that I had crashed...he asked if I was okay and I said yes, then we both went on our way.

At around mile 5 I could no longer run. My back was in spasm and I couldn't take a breath. I then just did some fast pace walking...I was walking at a 13:39 pace. Soon, I could barely do that and was limping along. I realized at mile 6 that I wouldn't be able to continue. I shed a few tears but actually felt really good. As I reached the turn around, Jeff and Bizzy were yelling for me. I told Jeff I couldn't breathe to which he responded, "Yes you can!" I let him know it was bad and he quickly made his way to where I was telling the official I was DNF'ing. The official handed me off to Jeff and he walked me back to the med tent. I was in good spirits and we chatted about his race and how I crashed and how close I had come to making it. The med tent docs said I should probably go to urgent care to get an x-ray and then released me. I found the people who had helped me before and they were all so encouraging and supportive. I got hugs and hand shakes and felt really good. Jeff told me how proud he was of me and Bizzy came with big hugs and more wonderful words.

Later at dinner Bizzy asked how I was feeling about the whole race and if I was able to get the closure I was looking for where Jon was concerned. "You know, " I said. "I met Jon because I DNF'd my first ever triathlon. It seems fitting some how to DNF this one, too." Ahh, closure.

Today I am extremely sore. My face has a big bruise on it. Under my right arm has a 6" long bruise. My right hand knuckles are black and blue...but only my thumb and middle ones. The outside of my left calf is bruised. I have random bruises all over my legs. And then my back. Wow. My back, left hip and side are swollen and bruised. It hurts to walk, sit, stand and lay down. And cough. I just heard back from the doctor and was told to go to urgent care...something about possible internal bleeding.

So, now that this journey is over I feel really, really good. If I hadn't crashed, I would have finished under the time I set for myself. The wondering if I could do it was answered. Yes I can! I was conditioned enough. I was mentally prepared. And if I had lost the weight I wanted, I truly believe I would have broken my hip. No kidding.

When we finished, Jeff and I both said we'd never do a 1/2 again. But now, two days later I'm thinking I should go back to just finish it...a thought that boggles my mind. I can barely stand up, my face looks like I got punched and yet I want to go out there and do it again. Ironman is crazy that way.

I have to give some major props to Coach Jeff. I never could have done this without his support. His wisdom and tips were invaluable and his belief in me kept me going.  And despite his repeated desire to set me up with someone named "Spike-O" he has turned into a pretty good friend. Thanks, Coach!!!

So, thank you to everyone who has come on this journey with me. It's been a wonderful experience and I'm glad I got to share it with all of you. Now, I had better get myself off to urgent care....internal bleeding? Nah...I'm a 63.8er!

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